It's so good to be home!

Some of you may know that we moved out of my inlaws and in to a home of our own.
It has been a long LONG time coming and has been a huge work in progress, still is.
We have put a lot of time, a lot of hard work, a lot of sweat + tears, and a lot of money in to this place that we now get to call our home. I'm so grateful for the people that have helped us pull this off; family, and a few of the sweetest and greatest friends! Thank you, thank you from the very most bottom part of my heart. We needed you, and are so thankful for you!

This was a HUD home. The day we went through it was the first and the only house that we looked at! How's that for taking a big leap? That same day we had to make an offer on it. With HUD homes they don't tell you if anyone else has bid or how high or low they may have offered. It was as is. The people before us made holes in the wall, taken all appliances, took the garage door, and we knew it needed a lot of work and a lot of love. (But love is just what we could give the place) We let our realtor know our offer and she had told me we probably wouldn't hear back for a few more weeks. I stressed majorly. I really wanted to live basically next door, to my husbands brother and his little family! The next day I had gotten a phone call. We got the house! WHAT?!! Woah. Well that all happened a lot quicker than I had imagined. Overwhelmed, stressed, excited, antsy, anxious, and just joy filled my heart!
The process was long, and it was hard! We had a whole bunch of hoops and hurdles to jump through and at times we thought it'd be better to back out. We hung in there though! We
closed on our house two days after Kueyn was born as well as sold one of our cars! What can I say? Adulting at its very finest! --Well, without further a do. Here's our little home!

The Kitchen

You guys, redoing cupboards is no joke. Thank you to my big sister, Amy for taking on the task of helping me. They live in Texas and when they came to visit her and her husband both apologized for not being able to help more! She did a lot of the work on the cupboards and then taught me so I could do it on my own. Spencer painted a wall for us and fast too!
We cleaned, sanded, painted, and stained the edges of our cupboards. Later on, we will add door knobs and decorations will go on top of the cupboards. We also hung two decorative shelves above the table:)

We really lucked out because my sister in laws parents were redoing their kitchen and gave us the dishwasher, microwave, and stove + the chandelier above the kitchen table all for free. My mom also gave us her fridge because she wanted a new one :) Like I said we got really lucky! Thanks everyone.

Shiplap Wall

First we painted the entire wall the blue/gray color the rest of the house is. My mom and Jace measured everything out and put the marks on the wall. We had our system down and rocked it! It was really a pretty quick process! --I admit that I did make a fuss about a tv being hung on this wall and refuse to let anything else find it's place there. Haha! I just really really love it!

I sanded each and every board.

My mom and Jace would place every board on the wall and then nail it in. Later on came the painting!

I'm not joking when I say that we painted literally every single wall in this place..I can now tell you that I never want to paint another wall in my entire life. It was brutal, friends. Worth it? Definitely...but brutal!

We had the downstairs, and all of the bedrooms upstairs textured. That costed a pretty penny and we low balled how much paint we would need for the place. My sweet father in law + my loving husband framed every single window in our house and they look absolutely beautiful now! Pictures don't do it justice.

Jace says he got the TV and I got the furniture. Let's be honest, I would have settled for the much cheaper furniture but he got what he wanted ;) Okay okay fine, I am really REALLY happy that we ended up with these babies. I wanted gray --That's what I got. They are super comfortable and we love the wedge that has a shelf and outlets for phones + anything else in the middle. I also love love love the main piece. If you notice in the pictures the middle folds down and up. Meaning we can have it down to hold our drinks and for an arm rest, or to lay Kueyn in the corner OR we can have it up and sit right next to each other. Ashley furniture you can thank me later for the advertisement for any readers.

DownStairs Bathroom

I am so in love with this room. My mom and I shiplapped that wall very very last minute + we did it without any men! :)
If any of you know my mom she is truly an angel and the most handy one at that! She took the toilets out too.
Thanks mom!
We painted this bathroom a Yellow-ish creamy color, took out the vanity, got a new mirror, new light fixture + new sink and hung some shelves. We just had to replace both toilets, because ew! The germaphobe in me definitely came out!

I decided to decorate this bathroom in London decor because my husband served his mission there. It's still not finished completely but hopefully soon I'll find the missing pieces and it will all come together!

The stairs

My sweet inlaws came over twice and painted this for us. You can't really tell but my father in law made a plank to be able to get to the tippy top! And the framed window --Pictured below. I told you they were beautiful!

Upstairs Bathroom

We painted the entire bathroom the same pretty yellow-ish cream color that we did downstairs and decided to pull the laminate flooring out and get it tiled. My moms neighbor boys did the downstairs bathroom and the upstairs and we couldn't be more happy with how it turned out! Thank goodness my mom knows how to clean a shower! It was the most disgusting thing you guys! Thanks to her it's good as new --although, I miss my inlaws shower. Embarrassingly enough, the first 3 weeks we were in this house I still went down to their house to shower! haha.

This is the before picture of Kueyn's bedroom and right now it's just a room of boxes and things waiting to be put in their right places. His crib isn't even in there yet! Like I said, it's all a big work in progress. It is painted though, the same light blue color :)

Kyren's room. Multiple times we would ask Kyren which room was his and he would go back and forth between the two. Eventually, this is the one he stuck with. It's more like a toy room with a bed in it ;) Like we have said many times in this post...there is work to be done! There will be things hung on the wall, curtains up, and decorations. We just haven't gotten there just yet!

He slept in that big boy bed like a champ. The first night we were here we put him in it and thought it'd be a rough long night. It turns out he went right to sleep and didn't come in to our room at all the entire night. It was the strangest + greatest thing. We haven't been so lucky lately, he climbs out and literally destroys his room. He get's destructive and throws everything..not to play with it, just to make a mess. Two year olds!

Master Bedroom

--All of the doors in the house were that creamy color. So this Summer we will be taking them all of, going outside, and spraying them a bright beautiful white! I couldn't be more excited to get that done and over with! I'm welcoming the sunshine with open and big arms!

all downstairs was this dark dark red color. Originally I wanted a gray with a slight blue tint. It is definitely blue but I'm happy with it!

We are all still adjusting. In fact, I've had the hardest time of all. I genuinely and truly love my in-laws with everything in me! Living there was the greatest thing that could have happened for me personally. Kyren was truly the happiest playing downstairs with his grandparents and knowing we were just upstairs. I bawled my eyes out the moment we pulled out of the driveway and there are days that my heart truly hurts to be there again...But we welcome this new adventure and are excited to have a place to call ours!

Again, I can't thank everyone enough. Thank you for painting, thank you for cleaning, thank you for offering your opinions on where shelves should be hung, thank you for bringing us food, thank you for watching our boys, thank you for making this place exactly what I wanted it to be. You're all the very best there is, and I mean it!

Thanks for reading, xoxo!

You matter.

I was able to attend a Momday Conference at the beginning of March with my sweetest mom and baby sister. It was just what my mommy heart needed. It touched me in all the right places and gave me all of the warm fuzzies.
--And thankfully so.

These are a few things that I hope that I can remember.
1- Fill my Mom account.
2- Why talk others down? Why can't we all be up?!!
--it all begins with one single thought. and every single thought matters!
3- Sisterhood.
4- Own it. Be unapologetic and intentional with the things you say + love.

Let's start with #1. Why do we as mom's or even women (atleast I know I do) feel selfish when we go to Target and leave with the jeans we had to have? I know that I do. Girl if those cute jeans make your little butt look fine + fill your mom cup then for heck sakes. Buy the jeans! If it's that bright red lipstick that does the trick and helps you get through the day, wear the bright red lipstick EVERY single day. I don't care if it's a daily Kit Kat or an Almond Snickers or the almost $3.00 Fiiz Drink... I don't care what it is. If it's going to fill up your mom account so that you can take and take and keep taking from it then do it! When you feel good, when you take a minute, or even two hours for yourself, then your kids (your husband, your family, your neighbors, etc) will all end up benefiting.

Oh good, we made it to #2. Why talk others down? When we look at those small squares on Instagram what goes through our heads? and then what kind of emotions come from that? If we think "Oh my gosh! She's so lucky she won a free trip to Disneyland. -Oh hey there jealousy- When we walk in to the room and see a pile of clothes on the ground and we think "ugh! Both the hanger and the closet are right there. Can he not hang them up? I'm not his mom." -Oh my gosh. I'm so mad- It all begins from one single thought. Why can't we be happy for the girl who won a trip to disneyland? Why can't we walk in to the closet and see that pile of clothes and think oh my husband was in such a big hurry to play with the boys that he tossed his clothes. If we could make our minds change their way of thinking how much happier could we be and how much happier would we be for others? I want to be genuinely happy for my friends + my family who are going places, who are chasing their dreams, who are successful, who are happy with what they have. Why do we have to knock someone else down to their knees in order to build ourselves up? Why can't they be great and why can't I?

Oh hi #3. Sisterhood. I was raised with 3 sisters and then married in to a family and got even more. --I know, the luckiest. I also have a tribe of "sisters" I have a bunch of girl friends to add to those sweetest sisters who I deeply love and who lift me up always. I feel so blessed to be surrounded in person, and social media with women who continually build me up, who tell me I can do hard things, who come to my DoTERRA parties just to show their support, who text me just to ask how I'm doing. Let's lift each other up --As friends, as sisters, as moms, and as women!

Last #4. Own it! Own who you are, where you're at, and what you have! What do you say when someone asks you what you do? I used to say "Oh I'm JUST a mom" and then a 'but' would follow. NO NO NO! You're not JUST a mom. You're the very best mom! Be proud of the homemaker that you are and those babies that fight you for naps, and cry for who knows why. Some of you may work out of the home and to you I say own it. You leave your babies to work and then come home and you keep working the rest of the night! Don't feel guilty. You own it because that is hard! Maybe you work everyday all day long and you barely get to see your husband because the two of you are making your dreams come true. So what do you do? You own it, and you rock it! Don't be sorry for the human that you beautifully are! There once was a time that we didn't think twice about what we posted on social media, or what time it was posted, or how many likes that picture (close to our hearts) received, and so what if you posted twice in one day?!! I forever want to be unapologetic and intentional with the things that I post, that I share, that I say and most of all that I love!

Aren't we all just trying to do and be our very best? For ourselves, for our littlest humans, for our fur babies, and for the family members who fill our lives with so much joy? Life is hard so lets not be so hard on the people around us and most importantly ourselves. Let's be compassionate + uplifting. Let's be endearing, and genuine. Let's be unapologetic and intentional with our actions and thoughts. Let's remember who we are and what that means! Let's think highly of others and highly of ourselves. And for those wondering who you are, search for it, and find it...and last but certainly not least. OWN IT!!!

Growing boys

"God gave those little children to you, mama - you. No one else can mother them like you can. You may have your work cut out for you, but you're the one cut out to accomplish it". --Erin Odom

Today and everyday, I truly feel grateful + extremely blessed to call these boys mine. To have the opportunity to watch them grow, to hear "wake up-wake up" every single morning, to nurse a sweet babe every night, and to be there to cheer them on as they get older.
Not all days are easy, in fact, we have a lot of bad days too. Last week, Kyren threw a rock at a car..and if any of you know Kyren he has quite the arm. Sadly, Ky has been a little bit violent with our little Kue. And a 5 month old isn't always the easiest thing to take on. I know that the hours may seem long, but I do know that the days are short. I can't believe that I'll have a 3 year old in 3 months and that my tiny babe is already 5 months old. It breaks my heart that sometimes I'm not present enough to soak all of their goodness in. So today, that's what I am working on. Watching them interact with each other, embracing the messes, and cherishing the snuggles.

These boys. As I'm sure every mom says about her littles --they are the absolute best! They are cute, funny, and have the biggest personalities! We haven't done an update on here for quite some time...So today is the day.

Kueyn:--He's my little chunky man! (I know, I'm the luckiest)
short + most squeeze-able cheeks and eat-able thighs.
--He's rolling from his tummy to his back.
--Bath time + his fingers in his mouth are still his favorite!
--Of all the smiles I've ever seen His is the biggest!
--He thinks he has to sit up 24/7 or be facing outward.
--Seriously, he is the happiest babe I've ever laid eyes on.
--Let's not forget that today (the 6th) he is 5 months old.
--Puts up with an extra lot from his big brother.
--Worlds biggest bubble blower.
--He's reaching for everything and eyeing all of our food.
--Toys --He's all about them.
--Love - Hate relationship with his carseat.

Kyren:
--Costa Vida, Papa Johns, Fries, Juice + all the sugar in the world.
--He thinks Kue is pretty much the best thing that has ever happened to him.
--Will quite literally talk your ear off.
--Tantrums galore. Not joking..Please tell me the three's are better.
--"Hey! What are you doing" "Come play, come play" "Hey! Where going"
--Doctor. He loves it!
--He slept in his big boy bed for the first time just a week ago!
--Went potty in the toilet for the first time, ever on March 4th.
--World's biggest helper.
--"He's cuuuute" as he looks at his little cousin, Kohler.
--Mr. Independent (walking to the car, scanning at self checkouts, dishing up his food, getting dressed, turning on his sound machine etc.)
--Knows how to work snapchat on his own. (We apologize if you've received any snaps from us)

My kind of paycheck

Oh friends,

I have currently started selling DoTERRA Essential Oils.
1- Because I absolutely love the products. Like I'm one of those crazy Oil ladies.
2- I got a few checks back from it and it just felt so rewarding to feel like I was contributing.

I wonder more often than I should why others got so blessed with money, not that we don't have any. Because, really..We are doing just fine. I'm no successful blogger and I'm not making thousands of dollars retiring my husband. I'm not at Target everyday, and I often feel guilty buying a $2.00 Fiiz drink. We dream of having toys (i.e the four wheelers, a big ol' truck, all new clothes for all of us, pricey makeup, a fancy suv and the list goes on) and making that honeymoon trip that we never took. I mean, we can all think of a hand full of things we would like to have or places we would like to go, can't we? Please tell me I'm not alone in my thinking.

So many people make a living off of their talent; writing, drawing, crafting, beautifying, singing, talking. --It's been a few days now and I am still sitting here trying to figure out exactly what my talents are. Seriously, I know so many talented people and going on 72+ hours I still can't think of one darn thing that I'm good at. I told my mom that the only thing I'm good at these days is changing diapers. **haha! And I mean it. I have complete confidence that I can change a diaper in less than 30 seconds.

As I sat here the other night at my absolute wits end and feeling like I'm not enough.. In all areas of my life, really. I mean I don't bring in a weekly or even monthly paycheck. I'm "just" a stay at home mom. I "just" clean (honestly, I rarely cook), I "just" haul both of my boys to the grocery store and back, I "just" try and keep them presentable and smelling good, I "just" pick up the bag of purposely dumped out chips. I "just" do the laundry. I "just" make sure Kyren doesn't place a smartie in Kueyn's mouth for the second time. I "just" make sure they are both fed. I "just" watch the monkey + Adam Levine's newest hit song multiple times through out my day. I "just" try try try to be the very best that I can be for my boys. My eyes started getting teary and my heart a little too heavy... When I told Jace that I'm not contributing he looked at me, laughed, and said "because, raising our boys isn't contributing" I thought long and hard about that sarcastic statement. I have had some tough jobs. Some jobs that were emotionally wearing, some physically, and some were both. I can honestly say that motherhood has been the toughest + roughest of them all. BUT it has been the best + the most rewarding of them all.

I have been with them for all of the laughs, the owies, first bites of baby food, first roll over, first few steps. I have learned so much about my babies and about myself. I have seen my strength as well as fallen to my knees begging and pleading for help to make it just a few more hours for dad to get through the door. I have broken down, a lot. I have truly grown and changed.

Kyren reminds me to pray before dinner + before bed. Kyren reminds me that Kueyn needs to eat when he cries. Kyren reminds me to look for cars before crossing the road. Kyren reminds me to find joy in the small things + learning. He says "love you" "thank you" "welcome" "please" + so much more! Kueyn reminds me just how fast time really does fly by. Kueyn reminds me to smile at Kyren's craziness. Without any hesitancy they teach me every.single.day. Over and over again! Everything I do they are watching + learning + repeating.

So the moral of the story. Am I contributing as a mother? YES. Why do we as women/momma's feel like the things we are doing aren't enough? WHY?!! I may not have a paycheck to show for it but I do have two absolutely beautiful baby boys to show for it and that should be more than enough.

So to the mommy nursing her newborn, the mom walking her toddler out to the car because he/she can't have that $4.00 sucker from Hobby Lobby. To the mom who leaves the house to work and comes home and keeps working. To the mom who thinks her life is over. To the mom who feels lost and unimportant. To the over-protective, don't feed my kid that momma bears, to the moms who get up early and stay up too late. To the moms who feed their kids Mcdonald's. To the moms that live in pajamas/leggings all day everyday! Last but certainly not least...to the struggling hard on herself momma who feels the least talented + no paycheck coming in. You ARE contributing! Loving and caring for a human other than yourself is hard, emotionally taxing, physically draining, and just plain old hard!!! Your paycheck may not be an account full of money BUT your paycheck instead are the random kisses, the "mommmmmm" when you walk in the door, the daily snuggles, the smiles when they're sleeping, their hilarious dance moves, and fake laughs. Your reward is one that will last for years to come! So today, as you feel mom guilt for not being what you think is "enough" for what ever reason I hope you remember that in a few minutes your little babe will reward you with some sort of paycheck!

xoxo

Love a little harder

Friends, it's almost Valentine's day. The day of love and kisses + great big squishy hugs. In Elementary School you made cute little mailboxes, put together store bought Valentines for your class, and even had a celebration after lunch. And in 6th grade maybe even got to dance with the cute blonde boy with spiked hair. Then comes jr. high full of change, new people. New boys. And the school sales Carnations for $1.00 where you can write a small note to whomever you'd like. I distinctly remember the kids coming around 6th and 7th period reading names of people who received a flower. Some one, some two, some 12 or 13...and some none! (Ill come back to this.) Anyways, I remember sitting, and waiting ever so impatiently --almost to the point of feeling anxiety-- for my name to be called. High school rolled around and I seemed to always have a boyfriend, or a special someone. (Another point that I'll come back to) I remember getting flowers, a stuffed animal, some chocolates, and even going out on a date to celebrate this day filled with extra hype for those in love and extra loneliness for those who were considered "alone" or single. One year, a previous boyfriend had even come back from Logan (Utah State) and knocked on my doorstep with a huge bouquet of beautiful Gerber Daisies, the most massive lovable bear, and the prettiest ring. And then years later, a missionary that I was just so head over hills for left on a mission. Valentine's day was different for the next two years of my life! Instead of filling it with those kisses, hugs, and a pricey dinner date it was filled with girlfriends who took care of me, a sister who hugged me, and parents who supported me.

Then I met the one. The ONE who changed everything for me. The ONE who takes care of me. The ONE who takes care of two energetic busy boys. The ONE who came along and picked up the pieces after things with that Missionary Boy didn't work out. The ONE who tested/s my patience, and makes me make decisions. The ONE who goes with the flow and watches too many sports too often. The ONE who has facial hair **I always hated facial hair until he came along. The ONE who is okay with the mess. The ONE who thinks he needs a bullet bike. The ONE who eats pizza one night a week too many. The ONE who makes me laugh so hard my stomach hurts and I pee a little. (Haha) The ONE that I've never heard say a bad word. The ONE that proposed days after Valentines day. The ONE that roots for me and picks me up. The ONE that will run outside because I hate treadmills. He's the ONE you guys. He melts my heart so hard.

Neither of us are huge on Valentine's day...It's been that way since the very beginning. We've been married for a few years now and each year we both promise not to buy the other anything for this day. BUT year after year a beautiful bouquet of flowers/fruit bouquet shows up on my doorstep. We have started our tradition of making a yummy dinner at home and spending the night in. This year two little boys will join in on the fun!

Going back to waiting for my name to be called in Jr. High and being envious of the girls who received a full dozen of Carnations from Mr. Right. It seriously hurts my heart thinking about how much a flower could effect me. WHO CARES?!! You are loved. So loved. You may not be the Cheerleader, or the girl with perfect long hair, or wearing the newest fashion. You may not be invited to all of the "cool kids" parties. Your kids may not be the most well behaved and you may not be driving that Mercedes Benz. You may eat Mcdonald's more than you'd like to admit and you may not exercise as often as people think you should. Why do we let how many flowers are gifted to us, or what others think of us define us? I know that I do it too often. I know that I do care what others think of me and how I'm viewed. I'm working on it. Today, I wrote a list. A list of names of people who's opinions matter to me. It may be a bit longer than it needs to be but it's sure a heck of a lot shorter than it was.

Looking back to those high school-end of the world-everything is a big deal-high school days it seems as if I always had a boyfriend. Whyyyyy???? Well here comes the why. I felt as if I needed to always have someone who needed me. I felt I needed someone to make me feel special, to make me feel wanted, loved, needed. Here's the biggest why that I ask myself. Whyyyy did someone else define me?!! Looking back, it nearly breaks my heart that someone else always defined every bit of me for 3 years of my life. Whether I was happy, whether I was sad, whether I was "alone", whether I felt secure etc. That completely breaks my heart. I never, ever, in a million beyond years want my boys to feel like someone defines them. To you, who feel alone on the journey. To you, who feels small. To you, who needs a pick me up. To you, who feels like they are falling short. YOU ARE worth it. You are loved. You are important. You are needed by someone on Valentine's day and everyday.

To those of you who love this holiday **however few there are out there, I know there are some real die hard lovers of it! To those of you who hate it **like having anti-valentine's day parties. To those of you who are missing someone. To those of you who are spending it with friends because "the ONE" hasn't made his/her way to you just yet. To those of you who have found the one...whoever, and wherever you are I encourage each of you to find someone who needs a hug. To make this day special for someone who needs it. To compliment a stranger. To let one person in front of you in traffic. To spend a solid 5 minutes of uninterrupted time with your baby. To be kind. Valentine's day doesn't need to be JUST a day for lover's or heartache. It can just be a day of plain-old-fashioned love! Love for yourself. Love for your family. Love for your friends. And love for complete strangers! So here's to spreading love in any way or should I say every way that you can!

In our little corner of the world, we will be gifting Valentine's to our loved ones. To cousins that Kyren adores, to Papa that has been in the hospital. To grandparent's who spoil us rotten. For me, I hope so strongly that I can teach my boys to gift carnations to the ones who may not get any. I hope that I can teach them to love those that may be a little bit harder to love. I hope that one day, years ((hopefully many many years hahaha) from now that when their 'ONE' comes along they will treat her the same way that their daddy treats me! I hope Jace and I can work on loving our boys even more fiercely when it is harder to do so. That we can be examples of the truest form of love.

Fighting the blues.

Is it just me or has it felt like snow has beautifully covered our green grass for what seems like years? I don't know about you but Kyren and I...and I don't know, maybe even Kue have definitely missed the sunshine and Summer days outside. We can't wait to introduce baby brother to everything outdoors ie. the slide, splish splashin in the pool, the swings at grandma's (everyone's favs.) and just laying on a blanket and feeling the warm summer sun.

Moms. Family. Friends. Random readers. I have had the setback of major postpartum depression after having both my boys. Like, it's bad. I can feel myself losing myself after each one...and slowly, ever SO slowly, I do end up getting back to myself again. So this time around as bad as it has been I have tried extremely hard to force myself out of bed when Kyren wakes up. It's hard, like I feel like it's way harder than it should be. Then I feel like I'm constantly having to "force" myself to do things all throughout the day just because I seriously have NO motivation and just lack the energy to do anything. So just because, or maybe just for me the next go around here are a few things that have helped me see the sunlight!

First, I distinctly remember the following... it was about 1 maybe even 2 weeks after Kue was born. I woke up and again "forced" myself to get ready; showered, makeup on, hair done, and clothes (anything other than sweats). I had told myself the previous night that "tomorrow is the day" I know me, I know how I operate. If I get up, get moving, and get ready I feel 100x better about myself, and about the day. So I ever so sluggishly rolled out of my bed and when I felt like my boys would be okay I hopped right in...turns out, Kueyn cried the entire time and Kyren managed to dump the full bag of potato chips all over the floor. I got out, fed the baby, picked up the spilled chips, and was determined to get myself ready from head to toe. Long story short, with lots of interruptions, baby cries, toddler tantrums, newborn feedings, and who knows what else...after 3 long hours I pulled it off...Then my Husband, (my ever so sweet, and observative husband) got home from work and didn't compliment me, and seemed like he didn't even noticed that after 2 full weeks I actually looked presentable. I waited, and I kept waiting until we jumped in to bed that night. I sadly asked him if he even noticed that I got ready today. Luckily, he did notice but didn't say anything. Insert postpartum meltdown here**! You guys, normally this wouldn't have even phased me but it did and in a BIG way. Jace has yet failed to tell me how good+pretty+sometimes even sexy I look haha!

Second, social media. Does this one just kill you sometimes? I kill myself at how many times I scroll through the exact same posts and at how often I let other peoples life successes, time on their hands, put together they look, dreamy vacations, and just pretty feeds SO many people have. I mean thoughts like "that mom just had a baby ago and she looks like that?", "Look at her perfectly cute decorated mantel, how does she have time for that"? "why can't I look like her when I'm pregnant"? "She has a new outfit on in every single picture" "She is SO pretty" I mean you guys mostly thoughts that just kill my mood. Not that I'm not happy for my girl friends, and not that I would trade my little world for another's life..but I do get envious and I do have wishes, and wants, and goals that I do wish we could reach and achieve a whole lot faster than we have been able to. But honestly, the thing is, is I sit and I beat myself up all day, dad after day, for not being the moms on Instagram or the money makers on Facebook trying to get me to sale their things hahaha! I hope that this year I can just stop. Stop wanting things I don't have. Stop comparing myself to others; the way I look, the things that I have, the way they mother vs. the way I mother etc. I truly agree in the thinking of "we are our worst critics" why do we do that? We as girls and we as momma's?!! I hate it. Although hard, I hope that I can be happier over here in my little corner of the world. I really do have it all. I have the sweetest, best husband + daddy. I have the cutest darn kids (who hate sleeping), I have a car, a home, out of style clothes, and a really really comfy bed among tons of other huge and small blessings all in between.

Third, breaks. Aren't they the best?! As a mom and a wife I often feel like taking care of myself comes last on the to do list...I have also found how satisfying and humbling the few breaks that I have taken for myself actually are. Satisfying because a minute to breathe, pee without Ky walking in, or hearing a baby cry or tantrum being thrown is all great + leaving a salon with cute nails isn't bad either ;) and humbling because I am reminded just how much I seriously love love LOVE my boys. They are a handful + messy + hilarious + loud + from 0-20 the first five minutes in the day. But they are my mess, my handful, and they are my boys. I miss them within minutes of being gone and I have found that the best me that I can give them comes after I have given myself some me time. And of course I'm super grateful for a husband who allows me and trusts me enough to be out on my own, and understands that mom needs some alone time too! Did I ever tell you friends that one day my husband had my mom pick me up, stuffed some money in my purse + a cutesy note and had her take me and my sister to get pedi's. Who does that?!! Oh just my husband. Love you forever, babe.

Forth, look for the good. Because girl, there is SO much good; in you, in your kids (or the kids around you), in your hard working tired husband, in your old car, in your messy house, and most of all in you. When my day is harder than usual I try and sit and make a list of at least 10 things that I am grateful for. I have found that after doing so I'm usually happier and more satisfied with my own life.

Just some random things that have seemed to make the mom load + wife load + be good to yourself a little lighter.
!- Mom time. She's my very best friend! Like, I call her almost everyday + multiple times a day.
2- Sister time. Talking to Brina or my other sisters is seriously therapeutic for me.
3- Kissing Kue's little rolls and his chunky cheeks saves me in times of frustration.
4- Taking the time to soak all of Ky in + listen to him talk + sit and watch him shoot the basketball and just sit and be SO proud that he just made that shot!
5- Serve my husband. The other night I sat and massaged his sore work muscles and afterwards thought how rewarding it was to serve him instead of constantly having him serve me.
6- Blogging. I know I'm not the best writer and not many read this but it does feel good to sit and let the words + my emotions flow.

So to you who are struggling for what ever reason...Whether it's that you just had a baby, or if it's because this gloomy weather is sticking around a little bit too long, or maybe you are just having a no good rotten day. I challenge you to dig deep, to realize you're not doing as bad as you may thing. To remember that it could always be worse, and it could be. To push through your rough days, to squeeze that little one giving you fits, and to kiss those chubby cheeks of the babe that won't quit crying. You are special. You are brave and you are strong!

Introducing Kueyn

Kueyn Duane Ropelato
Born: October 6, 2016
Time 3:57 PM
To: Keri and Jace Ropelato
Weighing 6 lbs. 8.4 oz.
Measuring 18 1/2 inches long

A birth story that should not be forgotten.
It was a Thursday. Jace and I were scheduled to be induced with our second little boy.
I was told to call the hospital that morning at 8:00 to see what time to come in.
The babies must have really wanted to make their debut all in the same day because the hospital was packed.
Well, to our surprise they wanted us to arrive at 8:30. It was already 8:05. Jace was still lying in bed and only half of my head of hair was curled. Shelby, my sweetest sister in law came to watch Ky for the day and then we were off.

The nerves were running high, as only one would imagine.
Honestly, I was just so scared because of my horrific experience with Kyren that I thought there was no way this time would be any different. But boy oh boy was it different! We pulled in to the hospital and I made Jace snap a quick last picture of my prego belly in front of the hospital before our adventure began.

We got checked in and the sweetest lady came and asked me how I was doing. I let her know that I was good but pretty nervous. She quickly let me know that it was going to be a great day and that they were going to take care of me. Already my experience was better than my last. I 100% believe that the nurses at Ogden Regional are the very best there is! Laurel, was my main nurse for the day and she was just the sweetest. My mom arrived a few minutes later and my mother in law a little after my mom. **Two of the greatest women I'll ever know!

They got me my Ice...Which many of you know I craved Ice my ENTIRE pregnancy and nobody has as good as Ice as the hospital. Anyway, time went by and I was feeling great but I was very very slowly dilating and VERRRRRY slowly was my cervix opening.
They let me know that I would need to let them know when I was ready for my epidural but that it would take about 30 minutes to kick in and that I would want to get it before I was really really hurting. My Dr. Was coming at her lunch break to break my water and so we patiently waited.

She came in and broke my water and then I got my epidural and gosh dang it! I waited too long and was really feeling it. Surprisingly though, it was NOTHING like the pain I felt with Kyren. I cried a little bit, and my mom helped me through them and kept reminding me to breathe. I think I got the hang of it! When my epidural kicked in though. Man, was it nice. I didn't know what that felt like since it didn't work at all with Kyren.

My little baby sister, Brini arrived and I remember feeling just so relieved that she had made it in time for Kue's arrival.

I went from being a 4 clear to a 7 within the half an hour and the nurses came in and started setting up and having me push. Shortly after my allstar Dr. arrived and asked if we were ready to have a baby! Boy were we all ready...I prayed for Kueyn so hard, wanted him just so badly, and needed him more than I can express to any of you.

I remember my mom, mother in law, and sister were all on my left side by my head and Jace always likes to watch **haha! He thinks it's the most amazing thing and I guess just loves being right in the middle of it. I pushed and pushed but it was hard for me to even tell how hard I was pushing because I wasn't used to the epidural. Before I knew it I heard a baby cry, saw a smiling husband telling me that I did it, and a room full of happy happy people.

We did it. We brought another little human to earth and I couldn't be more honored to be his mommy!

and just as exciting, heart melting, and just overwhelmingly sweet as it was to watch Jace become a dad for the first time it was as much so with baby boy #2.

and a few more pictures of meeting little Kue.

You guys, we had bought a present to take to the hospital to gift to our little Kyren from the baby...you know, just to keep him from getting jealous and so on. He got there later that night and walked in ever so shyly and peeked over and saw our little Kue...and then he saw his present and that stole the show...but then, later, we placed Ky on my lap and presented him his new little baby brother. Kyren automatically fell in love and has been obsessed with him ever since. He is always asking to hold him, and if he starts to cry Kyren will be the first to tell you "eat eat eat" we hear "oh Kue-eeee" pretty much on repeat everyday.

So many sweet people who mean SO much to us came to meet our most precious little teeny tiny man!

Say hello to the new Ropelato family of FOUR!!!