You alone are enough.

"You've got the CUTEST boys that keep you busy. You handle the two children thing like you've been doing it for years. Seriously, so impressive! You are so calm and are truly a natural! Clearly your boys adore you and you are such a fun mom!

I think it's safe to say that a lot of the time I feel like I'm not adequate to have two little boys who depend on me for practically everything. I mean, it's up to Jace and I, to keep two of the cutest + sweetest + obviously needy little humans alive. I find myself impatiently checking the clock over and over again just waiting for daddy to walk through the door to let me have a solo potty break!

I feel like I'm just falling short. Short in my duties as a wife, as a mother, homemaker, sister, daughter, friend, wanna be blogger, wanna be in shape mom, wanna be successful SeneGence seller, wanna change the world girl. It's true we beat ourselves up. Some days I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water, like I'm constantly swimming up stream and just waiting to catch a break, for that 'so-said stream' to be shallow enough for my feet to touch the bottom if even for just a few short seconds.

I think we spend too much time wondering why we're not good enough. We waste too much time putting ourselves down, that we don't ever stop to see that we are good enough. We spend too much time with our heads down and our hearts closed, and never get a chance to look up from the ground and see that the sun is shining and that tomorrow is another day.

You may feel like you're not doing enough --Maybe like YOU simply aren't enough. The little few second break that you're just waiting so patiently to catch. Well it's coming. Whether it's in the form of a text, a phone call, a sincere comment or compliment.. for me, it's that little boy taking a quick break from playing outside to hug me tight and let me know that we're "fwends" or to hear him say "love you mommy" or to watch him literally run to my seat as quickly as he can to call dibs on my "lap" LAP" "LAAAAP"! It's my chubby babe that keeps me up in the night but has the most angel like twinkle in his little eyes while doing so. and oh that precious toothless-ear to ear-grin that only I get because I'm mom. --You just have to know the one I'm talking about. What is it for you? Your mom? Maybe a sibling? Your dog? What about your main squeeze? Whoever or whatever it may be.. I know you have someone or something that makes you feel good. That makes you feel like you can relax and even for just one minute that you are enough!

My point is... I feel very strongly that I'll never be capable of handling 3 children. Why?? Because I struggle with two. If we're being honest with each other it was a shock to me how challenging two babies would really be. I mean people do it all of the time, why can't I? My heart aches at the thought that Ky may be feeling like he isn't getting enough one on one time or that he's missing out on things or that he feels forgotten amidst all the change. I worry that Kue may cry for two minutes too long because I'm getting Kyren a drink or washing an Apple for him. I worry that Kueyn isn't getting enough cuddle/napping time with me.. that Kyren and I were able to have so much of within in these first few precious months. I worry that they're not eating enough, or drinking enough water out in the sun. I worry that Kyren has too much phone time, and not enough potty training time. I worry that everyone's judging me as I walk through Walmart dragging my two year old out of the toy section with a baby screaming in his car seat. I worry that people are thinking I'm a bad mom because I gave my 6 month old a taste of my Ice Cream. I worry that I'm not enough. The other day as I sat here feeling unworthy, and being extra brutal towards myself I received the above Facebook Message from a girl at play group that I have hardly ever even talked to. She didn't know what I was feeling that day. She didn't know that I really needed to hear that or that my boys screamed the entire way home.. But it was genuine, it was sincere. It touched my heart!

**so two things.

1- When you feel like you should say something to someone, or someone is weighing heavily on your mind or heart, don't be afraid. Say something. Let them know they are pretty and how much you love her shoes. Let them know you're thinking of them or have the cutest little Instagram feed. You think she's a good mommy? Tell her. She needs it! You think he/she is a good human being? Tell them. I promise you, we all need to hear it because we all have hard days. But please be genuine + the most sincere in all that you do and in all that you say!

and 2nd- YOU ARE ENOUGH. You may not see it. But I do. I see you struggling. I see you may be feeling a little bit defeated and really needing that Pepsi/Coke/Dr. Pepper/Fiiz/Coffee/Candy Bar etc. I see you asking "why me" and wanting to stay in bed all day. I see you on the verge of tears and trying with everything in you to hold it together. I see you're trying your best and giving it your all. I see you beating yourself up and stretching yourself thin. But know this...in all of your best efforts and all of your best "try-try-try again-s" I see you. I see your patience, strength, your love, and YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!